


God Bless Our King

by queerpatroclus



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Canon deaths, End of R2, Major Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 07:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2460425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerpatroclus/pseuds/queerpatroclus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the ceremony, Suzaku went back to his house and sat alone in his room, the happenings of the ceremony played again and again in his head. He did it. He killed his best friend. How he could he ever forgive himself? </p><p>Suzaku's story after the end of R2</p>
            </blockquote>





	God Bless Our King

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of the characters, all rights to Ichirō Ōkouchi  
> <3

After the ceremony, Suzaku went back to his house and sat alone in his room, the happenings of the ceremony played again and again in his head. He did it. He killed his best friend. How he could he ever forgive himself? 

Suzaku removed Zero’s helmet from his head and pulled down the mask. He carelessly threw the helmet back on his bed and buried his head in his hands, trying not to cry. Killing Lelouch to ‘save humanity’ was the worst thing he had ever done. 

Even though he was instructed to perform the task by the Emperor himself he could never forget the look he had in his eyes as the hilt of the sword hit his stomach. And the blood. There was so much blood. Suzaku glanced down, only to see that it had stained his body, hands and now face. 

Why? Why did Lelouch have to have such extravagant dreams? Why did so many people have to die? 

He sighed and decided that he should probably take a shower and ty to wash the blood off of everything. It is on his body, his clothes and his helmet. He needed to hide the clothes as well. He was Zero now. Nobody could find out or they’d know what he had done and he’d never be able to forget. 

The hatred he felt towards himself in that moment was more than he had ever felt in his life. He had to keep going. Try to forget for the lives of the Japanese. He couldn’t just give up now.

But what about school? He thought to himself. Lelouch wouldn’t be there and he’d obviously have to answer questions. From Kallen, Rivalz. Everyone. Ashford Academy was no longer a safe place for him. 

And what about Nunally? She had been there when he died. He had fell at her feet. How was the poor child going to cope now, knowing her only hope was dead?

How was he supposed to cope, leading the Black Knights, bringing hope to the Elevens, knowing exactly what happened? 

He finished cleaning everything and got dressed. He had to start planning what to do. He couldn’t leave everyone defenceless, especially now they know that Lelouch is dead. They think they’re free, but they’ll never realise that he was good. 

Suzaku knew. He’d known all along. Ever since they were children, that one day Lelouch would be able to take control and change the world. Although this wasn’t exactly how he imagined him doing it.

 

Suzaku missed school the next day to think about what to do and how to move on. He couldn’t live in the past anymore. Lelouch was gone and he had to keep going. He stayed in his room and wrote down ideas, frequently taking calls and answering messages from friends who were asking where he was and if he was okay and if he knew what happened. 

He really didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment so ended up turning off his phone to think. He leaned back in his chair and studied the plain ceiling. He wished he could turn back the time and talk to Lelouch again. He wished none of it had happened and he could’ve helped in other way. 

But in that moment, he realised that there couldn’t have been any other solution. The country feared and despised him. He couldn’t have done anything to change that and really, being killed was the only way to make them think they were safe. One thought lingered in the back of Suzaku’s mind, however. What if it was staged? He knew it was impossible but he had to have hope, right? 

Someone knocked on his door and he jumped, having been concentrating too much on his thoughts. He debates staying there and not opening it and sighed as the knocking came again. He glanced around to room to check there was no evidence of the previous day and went to open the door. 

“Suzaku I know you’re upset but you could have at least replied to one of my texts,” stated Milly before pulling him into a hug.  
He frowned before slowly hugging her back. He was sure he had responded to texts before switching his phone off. Maybe he hadn’t. He hadn’t been able to concentrate all day.

“I’m sorry…” he started but she stopped him.  
“I know you’re probably busy so I’m going to leave soon but I just had to check how you were. Everyone is so worried about you, with Lelouch being your best friend and all…”

He froze and stared at her. Nobody had ever called Lelouch his best friend before. He had always assumed it but the fact had never been spoken aloud. But he wasn’t here anymore. He had to remember that.

“Tell them that I’m fine,” he muttered, moving out of her arms, “I’ll be back in school tomorrow. Goodbye.”  
He moved and closed the door again before sitting down against it. He heard Milly sigh before walking away.

Suzaku sat there, gazing at the floor for a while before he began to cry. 

Slowly and silently at first, a few tears rolling down his cheeks before he buried his head in his hands and began crying. Really crying. He hadn’t cried since the day he killed his father and he just couldn’t the day before. He had wanted to. To show some kind of grief or pain but he just couldn’t. He felt guilty for that but Lelouch wouldn’t have wanted him to cry. 

If it had been the other way round Lelouch would’ve been strong and carried on but Suzaku just wasn’t that sort of person. So he sat there and he cried until he couldn’t cry any longer. Until all the grief and pain he had kept inside since his friend has asked him the favour had vanished. 

He sat there for what seemed like hours after Milly had left before he stood and made his way to the bathroom to clean his sore and tear-stained face. Now he had cried he had to get to work. He had to find the Black Knights and learn about what they were doing. He already knew about the army’s future plans after working for them so he needed a plan to save the Elevens. The Japanese. His people. He had to do it for Lelouch.


End file.
